International Men’s Day

“Self care is essential. Give priority to your emotions” I said as I ended a session with a young male client.

He nodded with a laughter and a slight eye roll.

I wondered if I cracked a joke!

Unfortunately Men’s mental health and emotional wellness has been turned into joke by the unspoken beliefs and traditional masculine norms – that define what it means to be a ‘Real Man’.

As the world celebrates International Men’s Day, lets break the stigma and help the men and young boys around us – embrace their emotional selves and express their feelings.

Do let them know that:
– You don’t need to ‘man up’
– Opening about how you feel, is a sign of strength and not weakness
– Sharing your discomfort with others doesn’t make you a burden
– Its ok to cry and feel sad
– Struggling doesn’t make you weak.
– Its ok to ask for help

It is a myth that men are silently stubborn and do not wish to talk about their mental health. Many men are willing to talk about their mental health, but are simply waiting for the right conditions.

For one man, this may be a long walk with his spouse. For another, it could be a heart-to-heart with his father. For another, it could be a chat with a non-judgmental therapist.

Is there a man in your life that may need help? A male family member, friend, neighbor, or colleague?

Take the initiative to normalize mental wellness for men and help in nurturing healthy individuals, healthy families and healthy societies.

That would surely make the International Men’s Day; a truly happy one for all the amazing men and boys out there!

DO YOU FEEL UNFULFILLED INSPITE OF ‘HAVING IT ALL’?

You are not alone and certainly not wrong! I receive a lot of messages from people seeking advice on what to do to tackle the emptiness that they feel inside, inspite of everything going good for them.

You can have the seemingly perfect life – a body that can carry you through a gruelling HIIT workout class, a job that gets the bills paid on times, and awesome people who love you – YET, you may feel empty inside.

Ask yourself these questions to discover your reasons and also understand ways to resolve them:

1. Hows the JOSH?
Do you find your life too monotonous? It could be the reason behind your boredom and feeling of emptiness. Having nothing to look forward to and losing excitement in life can make you feel sad in spite of everything going alright.

To break this pattern, learn something new and take on a new challenge. Any new skill, recipe, dance or puzzle can do the trick for you.

2. Whats YOUR standard?
No matter how good of a family, house, job or even a partner you have, you are always feeling unsatisfied. This is because you have envisioned living your life with a certain standard and nothing below that seems to satisfy you.

Spend some time with yourself to evaluate your standards. Where are they coming from and do you really want to keep running after them?

3. Who CONTROLS your life?
A lot of the times you get tired of doing the right things and everything that people expect you to do. Losing your control over your decisions can make you feel like a puppet. A life when somebody else decides to do everything for you, can create unpleasant feelings for you.

Steer your life in the direction that you want and not what is expected from you. This will reconnect you to your true self and is truly liberating.

4. When will it be MY turn?
When we are constantly looking at other people’s life and waiting to be served what they have, instead of focussing on our plate, we are signing up for disaster.
Everyone’s life and circumstances are different and what you see is just a small portion of their complete story.
Instead of continuously comparing your life with that of others’ focus on the life you have and get involved with it. You never know what magic recipe you may create with the ingredients you have!

5. Where’s the SUNSHINE?
This may sound strange, but lack of sunshine can play havoc with your mental health and give you emotions and feeling which transcend beyond logical explanations.

Give yourself adequate dose of sunshine and let your brain enjoy the much-needed serotonin.

Always remember – Its ok to feel low from time to time. However, if inspite of your best efforts you experience persistent lows that wrap around you like a heavy blanket, muffling the sensations and joy of everyday life – please seek help from a mental health professional to find your way out from this maze and reclaim your beautiful life.